The day I left the Philippines is still fresh in my memory. The air was thick with humidity, and the streets were alive with vibrant colours and sounds that reflected the spirit of my homeland. But amidst the bustling activity at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, there was a sense of mixed emotions as I bid farewell to the place I had always called home.
At 27 years old, I made the decision to leave everything familiar behind and embark on a journey to Canada in search of new opportunities and experiences. As I said goodbye to my family outside the airport, I didn’t look back as I boarded the plane bound for Vancouver. A whirlwind of emotions engulfed me – anticipation, nervousness, and a deep sense of uncertainty about what awaited me.
Stepping onto Canadian soil, a cool breeze welcomed me and brought with it the promise of a fresh start. Immediately, I noticed the diversity of faces and languages surrounding me – a stark contrast to the familiar sights and sounds of the Philippines. It was then that I realised I was truly a stranger in a foreign land.
As I settled into my new life in Canada, I grappled with the challenge of balancing my Filipino identity with the pressure to assimilate into the dominant culture. Everything from my mannerisms to my food choices set me apart as an outsider in a society where fitting in often meant sacrificing one’s true self. In an effort to blend in, I began suppressing aspects of my identity such as my accent and cultural traditions.
During this time of self-imposed assimilation, I felt a disconnect within myself. By denying my Filipino heritage, it felt like denying a part of who I was – the language passed down from my parents, the flavours of dishes from childhood, the traditions that shaped my identity. In trying to conform to societal norms, I was erasing my own unique background. Not speaking Tagalog even to fellow Filipinos became normal for me, as I believed we all needed to speak English in order to be accepted here.
But even with my practised English, I was still seen as different. I remember a time when I lived in a small rural town in Alberta as a journalist. My colleague and I stopped for gas, and while he went inside to pay, I waited in the car. When he returned, he was amused by a question the store clerk or owner had asked him.
“Is your friend a Paki?”
We both laughed at this and I suggested that next time someone asks, he should say “He’s Italian.” The thought of it made us chuckle.
I’ve live in Canada for about 27 years now and I can tell you, I’m still as Pinoy as the smell of fish sauce.
Through moments of reflection and self-discovery, I learned to embrace my Filipino heritage unabashedly. I found strength in the stories of Filipino heroes who fought for freedom and justice, in the warmth of our hospitality that treats strangers like family, in the vibrant celebrations that honour life amidst struggles, and in the hard work of every Filipino worker I know.
Our true essence lies woven in the threads of self-discovery, each unraveling revealing the masterpiece of our unique identity.
As we celebrate Asian Heritage Month this May, I am reminded of the importance of honouring and celebrating our cultural identities. My journey from the Philippines to Canada has taught me that true integration is not about erasing our differences, but rather embracing them with pride and sharing our unique stories with the world. By honouring and celebrating our diverse identities, we add richness to the fabric of Canadian society and pave the way for a more inclusive and compassionate future for all.
Renato Gandia 